Friday, December 12, 2008

Just Three Little Men

I didn't post yesterday! Wanna make something of it? Yesterday was a relatively full day. I got home around 10:45 pm and, honestly, I could have posted something. But I just didn't feel like it. The morning was full of regular get ready for the day stuff, the afternoon was set aside for lunch with a new friend, and in the evening I went to a community theater production of "A Christmas Story" with an old friend. It's lunch that I want to tell you about. But first a game of count the rugrats. How many do you see down there?







Just three, right? (I'm singing the hallelujah chorus in my head right now.) So yesterday I took Brigham and Hunter to McDonald's where we met up with my new friend and her two youngest for lunch. The kids played in the playplace for 3 hours (how many disgusting diseases do you think they were exposed to in that amount of time?) while we talked about life. New friend's name is Becky, she's 34 and she's a lot like me, with a couple of key differences. One month ago she lost her husband to liver cancer. Isn't that awful? This is where the key differences come in. She spent months watching her husband die and she is now raising SEVEN children on her own. I know she's grateful for every one of those children, but that's a huge challenge. See how much harder life could be? No matter how bad we think we've got it, there's always someone out there with a trump card.

8 comments:

The Carpentiers said...

Someone will always have a trump card no matter how you look at it, but it doesn't make your personal trials any easier. You're still amazing! I am sure it was wonderful to have someone to talk with. Love you!

Julie said...

I can't imagine it either way!! You continue to amaze me and your friend who I have never met is equally amazing and inspiring!!I am so glad that you have found a new friend, and someone who in every way understands how you feel!! Thinking of you!!! Your kids are getting so big...Especially Seth!! Hope your well..Kisses and hugs to everyone!!

natalie said...

I saw her blog yesterday and cried my eyes out. As awful as the circumstances are, I'm glad you have each other.

Orr Family said...

I could not imagine watching my husband slowly die, That must have been so hard! I am glad you are making friends in your new home! I wish I was closer, I could use a good friend to let my children play for three hours and catch something nasty!

Staci Kramer said...

Okay, you know two things about me: first I am your biggest fan. second: I am the queen of asking you questions about Matt's death that no one else has the guts (or more accurately the audacity) to ask, So, in that spirit, I just had to ask a question after I read your post today. Would you rather watch your husband deteriorate with a horrible illness but get to say all of the goodbyes and try to prepare yourself and your children for the loss or would you rather lose him in an instant like you did and not have to see him suffer? I can not answer this question and I don't really know if anyone could but It would be interesting to hear your thoughts on it.

Brenda said...

Staci you know I'll let you ask anything you wonder about! This is an easy answer for me. I would rather lose my husband instantly without him suffering. You know as well as anyone how busy Matt was. Dying slowly would have been torture for Matt. We did a pretty good job of living every day the best we could. He knew I loved him and I know he loved me. Being able to say goodbye wouldn't have been a big enough trade-off for his suffering.

Staci Kramer said...

That was so well said. Thank you for your openness. Matt was taken too young but he probably did more "living" in his thirty one years than most people could do in a century.

Christopher said...

The shocking thing is, many of us thought Duaine (Becky's husband) had beaten it about a year ago.