Sunday, June 21, 2009

Father's Day

I took the boys to the cemetery yesterday to visit Matt's grave for Father's Day. We spread out a blanket and talked until our backs were too hot to sit there any longer. I asked Brigham what one of his favorite memories of his dad is. He said, "Once when you were gone, Dad gave me 8 Oreos. I pulled them apart so I would have 16." MUST have been while I was gone! EIGHT Oreos?!

As we talked I was struck by the thought that my kids will think going to the cemetery for Father's Day is just as normal as other kids think it is to buy their dads a new tie for Father's Day.

If I had to choose for my children between memories of a great dad and the reality of a crappy one, I'd choose memories of a great dad. Matt was a great dad.

10 comments:

Kristen said...

Thinking about you! Love you guys!!

Sharlin said...

One school day, Brigham shared a memory of eating broccoli with his dad...so the Oreo's would definitely win a favorite memory spot. Do you have a memory journal? Like the one you gave us...to write down special moments?
Brigham shared a few special moments with us, which would be great for him to write down.
We love you all lots!

Becky said...

After crying through 2 fathers day talks and then the closing hymn being "God be with you til we meet again"(which to me is an odd song to sing on father's day plus we sang it at Duane's funeral) I decided that the kids and I were ditching church early. We did the same thing, headed to the cemetary, sang Daddy's favorite church songs, cried and talked about why daddy loved being a dad.

It's been a hard day for all of us. I'm thankful like you that my children have such beautiful memories to hold on too, and not crappy ones.

I miss you today and have thought of you a few times. Will it get easier? I'm not sure, but one holiday at a time, that's all we can do.

Sami said...

Thinking of you and the boys. I am glad you shared that time together yesterday, remembering Matt and what an awesome and fun loving Dad he was. Love you!

Dawn said...

He was a great dad. You're doing a great job Brenda. Keep strong! Those sweet boys have had a fantastic dad AND mom!

katie said...

When it comes down to it we only have our memories. Like your boys I have wonderful memories of my dad also. I am so sorry you are without Matt. But please know you and the boys are loved beyond measure. You continue to amaze me, Brenda.

Love ya,
Katie

Brooke said...

That is a cute thing for him to remember. And thanks for the B12 hint! I will have to give that a try for sure!!

Frankie and Krista said...

I love the oreo memory. That reminds me... when Brigham was in my class he talked about oreo A LOT. So that memory must be of his two favorite things. I actually have Brigham on video talking about Oreos I need to get you a copy.

roymama said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
roymama said...

Brenda, I don't know if I ever told you, but my dad died when I was 6 and morbidly enough, the cemetery where he is buried is about my favorite place in the world. We spent birthdays there, Easter breakfast and while I was at BYU I would study there. Because my mom made it that way, it is one of the most peaceful, sacred places in the world to me.
Liza Roylance