I've had a really crappy week. Like a cry-myself-to-sleep-every-night-my-friends-keep-bringing-me-Dr.Pepper-my-bishop-is-texting-me kind of week. Don't feel sorry for me and post all kinds of sweet comments about how difficult my life is and how anyone in my situation would have a crappy week sometimes, because I bring it on myself. I feel this huge weight on my shoulders to have everything all figured out. To know what I'm supposed to be when I grow up, to have a future mapped out for my kids, to understand where we're supposed to be and how we're supposed to get there, to know how to be the mom and the dad...It's daunting and I think way too much.
Yesterday on Facebook my status update said something dismal about needing a break from trying to figure things out all the time. Today I followed it up saying I've got it all figured out. Some of you have expressed some curiosity...
This morning while I was on the elliptical I caught an episode of Glee on Hulu. I'm not a regular watcher, but I'm current on all my other shows and needed something to watch. It was the episode where the gay kid in Glee Club uses the Beyonce song "Single Ladies" as his personal mantra. He plays it as he tries out for the football team. It pumps him up and gives him confidence and turns him, and eventually the whole football team, into star athletes that do their dads proud from the stands.
It's amazing to me what tiny things can impact moods and environment. Music is huge. If I had to make a list of things I can't live without, my XM radio would be on the short list. It's in the kitchen and I have it on more than it's off. A few nights ago we were getting ready for dinner and the boys were particularly grouchy. All 3 of them. I was thisclose to screaming when I decided to crank up the radio and demand a 3 minute dance party instead. As I shook my groove thang right there in the kitchen the boys looked at me like I had lost my mind. One at a time I grabbed their hands and made them dance. One at a time they started to smile. By the time we actually sat down for dinner they were little angels. Just because of a radio and a 3 minute dance party.
I've never watched the Mary Tyler Moore show. A friend of mine loved it growing up, but I could never understand why. One thing I did understand, though, is how cool it would be to have your own theme song. Of course Mary Tyler Moore was skipping all over town throwing that stupid hat up in the air every day on her way to work: she had an awesome theme song that started playing the second she stepped out her door every morning.
So this is what I figured out...you can get yourself through anything if you've got an awesome theme song playing in your head.