I've been trying to get all geared up today for a fluffy post about the progress in the backyard, but things just aren't shaping up that way. Sorry...
Have you ever noticed how your stomach shrinks when you haven't eaten in awhile? When you're not used to eating enormous quantities of food it takes less to fill your stomach than it does when you regularly put away a lot of food. Every time I've ever fasted I think about all the food I'm going to eat when I'm done fasting. But inevitably I don't make it even half way through my list because my stomach feels full pretty quickly once I start eating again.
I think this is the basic premise behind gastric bypass. Shrink the stomach so it holds less and lose weight because you can't eat as much. Unless you gradually eat more and more, then the stomach gets stretched out again, you eat more and start gaining the weight back. But if you never get your stomach all stretched out to begin with you don't need tons of food to fill it in the first place. This is of course an uneducated summary of the stomach shrinking phenomenon, but it sounds reasonable to me.
Right about now you might be wondering what the heck this has to do with anything. Last night I fell asleep thinking about the moron who said "Tis better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all." I can't decide which side of the love fence he was sitting on, but I can tell you that the side I'm sitting on, the loved-and-lost side, feels really crappy. (That is censored for my more sensitive readers...you're welcome.) So naturally thinking about this leads me to think about shrunken stomachs because the same thing that happens with our stomachs happens with our hearts and souls...
I was a month shy of 25 when Matt and I got married. By Mormon standards that was old. Ancient practically. So I spent a decent number of my adult years being the subject of the why-hasn't-anyone-scooped-her-up conversation among enquiring minds. Sure I wanted a guy, wanted to love and be loved and grow old creating a fabulous life with someone amazing. But it was fairly easy to fill the void with college stuff and work stuff and friend stuff. Because I never dated anyone I actually wanted to marry and I had no idea how awesome being married could be, there were plenty of ways to stay busy. Truthfully, I didn't really know what I was missing.
Now I know.
If I'm ever in a situation where I have to pick a campfire to sit by, I'm sitting with the guy who said "Ignorance is Bliss".
8 comments:
I think you have a really good point there. And I agree with you. Love then loss is not better. And I fully believe ignorance is bliss. Oh to be as dumb as I sometimes act!
Yesterday, after the Primary program, we watched the LS version of The Stripling Warriors. After singing the song, and watching the movie, all I could think about was YOU and your three little men. One shiny lining of this trial is that your boys get to witness your incredible faith and it is already growing inside them. What warriors of faith they are, and will be. I envy them for that. I am glad to have you as an example, too.
Brenda,
I love you. My heart aches for you. I agree with you. Loss no matter what-hurts. I wish I could take your pain away or lessen it somehow. I know there aren't words to take your pain away--but please know you are loved by so many. Just remember it is ok to have a meltdown whenever you need to. We are all here to help you back up.
Always,
Katie
I'm sure this is all very therapeutic for you, but do you even realize how many people you're inspiring? Well, count me in that crowd. I can't even imagine how you feel and honestly, I hope I never do truly comprehend. But still, your strength and faith and courage, and candid/classy posts about it all give me strength and inspire an attitude change in me every time.
I second the inspiration comment. You really do have great insight into life and its trials. I know nothing I can say can lessen the pain and burden you feel, but know that we think of you often and keep you in our prayers!
I'm glad you have such a strong testimony and that you have a higher power helping to comfort and soothe your aching soul.
I want to help in what ever way I can. I'm here for you if you need a shoulder to cry on or a friend to go to the movies with on date night etc.
We are lucky to have you back in the ward!
Brenda, It is not just "Love, Loss, the end." It is "love, loss, Love!" At some point you will get that love back with much more besides. I know it doesn't help much right now. Love you.
Don't let your heart and soul shrink too much. We need all of you.
I just love your posts! I am sorry you have had to experience such loss and can't begin to imagine what you go through BUT you write about it really well! However, I hope Shan doesn't read the part about 25 is ancient in Mormon standards b/c I can hear her now esp since lately she has been feeling it! Ouch!
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